Admissions

In my other main blog at http://www.tonyklinger.co.uk/ I admitted to being the person who caused the entire collapse of the British and world economic system in banking, property, and now the exchange rate collapse of sterling against almost every currency except for the yoghurt based money systems of certain, more remote parts of outer Mongolia.

If I had not purchased that toaster in July, forcing the banks, credit cards and various members of my family into meltdown we would have all remained safe and well.

Those of you in Britain will know of the scandal in which our newly ennobled Lord Mandelson did, when he was just a humble Peter Mandelson, meet a Russian oligarch called Oleg on the latter’s super yacht, moored of a nice, but suspiciously Greek, holiday island. His Lordship was at the time the European Union Commissioner for Trade. Some have thought this a fairly high-ranking job, representing, as it does, the most powerful trading block on the planet.

It appears that although his Lordship’s EU office previously did issue a statement admitting that he and Oleg had met in 2006 and 2007 it has now become apparent that they also met before this, in 2004. No terrible thing if one of you is an oligarch and the other is a Trade Commissioner. The interesting thing is that his Lordship didn’t own up in the first place and, some might claim, intentionally appears to have obfuscated the facts of the meeting. Why would he have done such a thing do you think?

Coincidentally, and these things couldn’t possibly be linked, Oleg, it is claimed, has various business interests in the republic of Montenegro, part of the former Yugoslavia. The EU granting favorable trading conditions to that new country could be worth a couple of billion dollars to the right people at the right time.

Of course, without evidence, no one would make such a claim, particularly when Oleg is clearly a fair minded, democratic oligarch with the highest business and ethical standards.

Needless to say, neither would his Lordship be sullied in any such connection. After all this was all investigated by the EU men in dark suits who check such allegations and he was, we are happy to report, blameless. As was the venerable Lordship the two times he resigned from the British government in the past for other, we imagine, totally baseless allegations of corruption.

Now in addition to questions about his Lordship there are the equally unsavory connections of the on shore host, Nat Rothschild, and one of the other guests, the Conservative Party’s Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne. According to Nat, George asked the oligarch for some cash fro the party. This is vigorously denied by George, who says he absolutely did not do so. What appears to be the case was more like; have you Mister Oligarch, got a company who could channel some money to the party? Of course nothing so vulgar as money actually changed hands, but people are seemingly forgetting that it is a crime under British law to ask a foreign national for money in this regard.

So, the time has come for my admission. I was also on a boat in the sunshine a few weeks ago and the gutter press might well have confused my friends and myself for the odd billionaire or two. I now officially admit that we were on a narrow boat on the River Lea with some boy scouts, not a euphemism, and business matters were discussed. Once again I’ve been tumbled. We were discussing the financial possibilities of shopping at Costco and, it has to be said, the price of fuel. We called for a decrease in the cost of petrol. The results was instant and obvious, fuel is now costing considerably less, and as a direct follow on OPEC immediately cut production by 1.5 million barrels a day. This clearly demonstrates how we can all affect the economy.

The UK’s Prime Minister supported Peter when he elevated the man to be a Lord, and to serve the country for the third time, on this occasion as the Minister for Business. How could anyone be churlish enough to question such dynamic decisions? Have you ever heard the old Mafia contention? If it smells like a fish, tastes like a fish, looks like a fish, it’s a fish, that’s how.

Now do you know anyone who could introduce me to Oleg the oligarch?