JustJoking

In this world, where property prices are slumping, jobless rates increasing and banks being bailed out it sometimes takes a joke to remind us that the world is basically funny and its people special. I’m very fortunate that a great many people send me jokes regularly, for which many thanks. I decided today, instead of our discussing our common trials and tribulations to share a joke I was recently sent.

One day the Israelis and Arabs finally realized that if they continued fighting, they would someday end up destroying the world. So they sat down and decided that the fairest and least destructive way to settle the whole dispute was with a dogfight.

The negotiators agreed that each country could take five years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its country the right to rule the disputed areas. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.

The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy from each litter, killed all the other puppies and fed them the best food. They used steroids and trainers in their vital quest for the perfect killing machine.

After the five years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison bars on its cage. Only their trainers, using extreme caution, could handle this ferocious beast.
When the day of the big fight arrived, the Israelis showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund.

Everyone felt sorry for the Israelis. No one else thought this weird animal stood a chance against the growling voracious beast chained up in the Arab camp.

The bookies predicted the Arab dog would win in less than a minute. The cages were opened. The Dachshund waddled slowly, and seemingly unconcerned toward the center of the ring.

The Arab dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast in one bite. There was nothing left but a small bit of fur from the killer dog's tail.

The Arabs approached the Israelis, shaking their heads in disbelief. 'We do not understand,' said their leader. 'Our top scientists and breeders worked for five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers. They developed a killing machine but your dog ate him in one bite, what happened?'

'Really?' the Israeli General replied. 'For five years, we've had a team of Jewish plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills working to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.'