Service With A Smile - Please

Today I went to see the new Indiana Jones movie. I call it a movie because that’s what the big American studios make, we, the Brits, make films, and in mainland Europe, they make cinema. One day, when we’re all in the mood I shall explain the subtle differences to the uninitiated.

First things first, the movie is a terrific fun. Old time B movie escapism. As a small kid said as he was coming out of the film and his mum asked him what he thought about the film, he responded, “It was terrific!” For those of you who have heard wise-ass critics scoring easy points against this film let me say they have no idea what they’re talking about. This is, of course, escapist nonsense, but it is supposed to be escapism writ large. Harrison Ford is still well able to swash his buckle and the action is smashing. No doubt the big time games designers and ride manufacturers are hard at work readying these for an expectant world.

The place chosen for the cinema visit was the Enfield Cineworld, the nearest movie theatre to Klinger Towers. The most important thing to think of here is that there was a probability that there would be a big audience for this particular movie. There were, after all, seven screens at this complex showing this film simultaneously which would appear to indicate that the cinema management were expecting a crowd.

It was therefore more than a little surprising that the door from the car park to the cinema complex was locked and the only means of entrance to remaining was the elevator. This was more than a little crowded as a consequence. Arriving in the lobby it was further surprising to discover a Disneyland type line waiting impatiently for someone to sell tickets. There was a single guy at one machine and the other four were unmanned. People were soon becoming very agitated. Being impatient myself I went to locate the manager who was having a chat with another member of staff at the far end of the very large foyer.

“Did you notice there are a couple of hundred people waiting and only one person selling tickets?” I asked him, “Yes,” he responded, “We have more people coming along very soon.” I suggested that he took some staff and himself away from where there were no customers and put them all on selling tickets, but by then his attention was elsewhere.

I rejoined the line, which hadn’t moved forward. Rather than trying to achieve this obvious ambition the manager sent another member of staff onto the ticket sales counter and he asked for anyone collecting advance booking or credit card transactions. Some of the crowd surged forward and others in the line quickly and volubly demonstrated their resentment. It was all getting worse. Just as it seemed there would be a much worse problem if the manager didn’t take action several new staff arrived at the ticket area.

Most of these staff were painfully slow but for one young lady who was about five times quicker than her colleagues. Within a couple of minutes this young lady had basically cleared the backlog of customers and I found myself purchasing my tickets from her, I told her that she was terrific, and not only that, unlike her surly colleagues she was friendly, smiling and accurate in her work. Her name is Sara, and no doubt she is going to be a very valuable employee.
I don’t understand why it would be so hard for this cinema to hire and manage their staff, but clearly it is. I don’t understand why it’s so difficult for this cinema to keep their lift working between their car park and their foyer, but it is usually inoperative. I don’t know why this cinema should find it difficult to keep the door between their car park and their cinema unlocked but clearly they do. It should not be very hard to place staff at ticket machines for one of the busiest days of the year but they clearly do. I still don’t understand why it should cost more than £11 ($20) for two small (kids) popcorns and two drinks, but it does, but I understand why, its because the cinema wants to rip their customers off.

For the record I have an annual ticket to this cinema chain because I like to go to the cinema, but it would be great if they had any clue how to run their cinemas. They have a total management failure. They should beg that young woman, Sara, to take over. They are the Fawlty Towers of movie theatre management.

In the UK we are generally pretty bad at service, although this is still a radical improvement since I was a boy. Then the service was more or less non-existent. I remember being in the Midlands town of Derby when I was a boy and I couldn’t find a decent meal during a whole week’s stay, now you would probably find something edible every day. The service improved with the immigration of people who want to live in this country, mainly from Eastern Europe. Clearly the lesson is that you can have better service if you are prepared to increase your population by a few million people. Unless you visit the Cineworld in Enfield, where they still manage to provide the lousiest, rudest and most inefficient old-fashioned lack of service possible. It reminds me of the good old days!